Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Overcoming Pain

The past 6 weeks have been a challenging time for me. If you know me you will think this isn't anything new. And in some ways it's not. Yet the recent challenges have been in different ways then usual. I was hiking about 5 weeks ago and sprained my ankle really bad. My ankle was swollen to three times the normal size. In the beginning I was constantly in pain. It was hard to move around for a week. I followed typical instructions for a sprain - pretty hard since I work at a gym and am a very active person. I missed my workouts, and wasn't able to teach classes for a couple weeks. I slowly adding back in workouts, starting with strength training and then attempting to run. It still hurt some, but the doctor said it was ok to add back in activities. I am mostly back to normal, able to do the activities I love and be on my feet a lot. Yet sometimes by the end of the day everything adds up. Today is one of those days - I was moving furniture around, had done workouts 2 days in a row and was on my feet a lot.

As soon as I got in the car after work tonight I couldn't keep the tears from streaming down my face any longer. When I get home at night I continue icing my ankle and rest it. Yet tonight I must finish a school assignment and it's hard to focus when my foot is throbbing so bad. Coupled with the fact that last week I had multiple viral infections and a very bad cough. I just finished my antibiotics, at night I start coughing hard - at times so hard that I can barely breathe. By morning it's gone, but it's more challenging to rest.

Why do I say all this? I've had to think a lot about my desires and needs. I've had to face pain when it comes...and face the fact that while I feel great at a given moment, that participating in a workout might cause pain later. I'd really like to avoid pain. I'm sure I'm not alone in that fact. Yet I know that pain is caused by many things. It can be a signal that good things are happening, or a signal that something needs to stop. I have learned that I'm willing to endure pain for things I love. Yet there are some activities that are pleasing to God that I don't like to do, want to do and sometimes try to avoid, because it's likely it will cause me some type of pain. I have seen that I'd rather do a workout and feel great, knowing the pain will come later then to skip the workout and not have any pain. God often wants us to lay aside our plans and (sometimes) selfish desires to do something for him. One thing I've noticed about being single is that I've become more self-centered. I control my life and I'm often able to do what I want when I want it. I believe God is calling me to expand my activities to include others, to give to others and to serve others. A part of me cringes at this. I have an agenda of trying to make my life as a single parent be as easy and painless as possible. Yet I also feel an isolation and laziness that can be overcome by reaching out to others.

I will spend more time contemplating what I feel he's leading me too. For now I need to try and focus on pushing through the pain and finishing my paper for class!

Does anyone else have these struggles or thoughts to share?

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